By AKI Traore, Staff Writer
“There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage” Martin Luther. Therefore, it will be an outrage not to speak about how important the day a man proposes to his future wife is, considering that he is for the first time almost officially asking her to be his lifelong companion, his queen, the pillar of his peace of mind, the mother of his future kids, his number one advisor.
One thing to know is that the proposal day will forever be engraved into her mind and memories, so it is absolutely crucial to press on the right keys. As African men we tend to overlook and downplay this defining moment. We sometimes even believe that it is not necessary to go through with it, because asking the chosen one’s parents for their daughters hand in marriage is very important.
Of course, it is the biggest sign of respect to abide by our customs which involves necessarily an introduction ceremony, an engagement party where the two families meet and formally agree to the future marriage of the bride and groom. These celebrations are widely spread in different African cultures for example `Mo mi i mo e’ for the Yoruba meaning (know me and let me know you). While the Igbo tribe call it ‘Ikutu aka n úlo’ (Knock on the door) and the Baganda in Uganda go by the famous “Kwanjula“.
However, we must essentially remember that the whole reason why we are engaging in this process is to conquer the heart and soul of this amazing creature of God we call the ONE for us. Therefore, getting on our knees with the best ring we can afford and asking her to MARRY us is considered our privilege and must be done in order to get our future bride to smile and glow until the wedding day just like she deserves.
This goes without mentioning the importance of going through great lengths to make the proposal a sensational and most memorable moment. With that being said we must learn that we haven’t got to do it alone if we are feeling a lot of pressure to deliver. While we have to remember that proposing is all about HER, what she likes and what she wants, it is in our interest to know that what she will appreciate most is the story behind it. What we did in order to make it all happen, all the techniques used in order to find out her ring size if we don’t know it already or the thinking process about the HOW and WHEN to propose.
I believe that consulting her family members especially the ladies or her close friends are essential to making it a great one. It is unbelievable how much we can find out by doing so as well as broadening our horizon in terms of options. On a more personal level practicing an effective listening
towards our other half makes such a difference in choosing where and when to propose which end up in a win/win situation. Not only we score huge points by sweeping her off her feet, we also set the tone for what the married life will be as women do think more long term than us men do generally.
I guess it is all about how many memorable moments we can create for our companion during our life together. In most cases we tend to be quite complacent with time, then memories are ones of the things to bring back a cheeky smile and also could be a kick on the backside as a reminder of what she is worth if and when things get tough. It sure does make sense if the proposal is a moment that both should remember forever. That meaningful moment when we ask – WILL YOU MARRY ME?